Monday, May 31, 2010

Hindrance

( April 29-2010)
Hindrance
As it is said, every search commences with an obstacle. The same was with me. My journey began with missing the flight to Delhi, India. It definitely is a herculean task to leave pending work behind at work and taking a break seemed next to impossible for me. To add to this stress, during the late night emailing to clients, the laptop showed hints of crashing when the flight was scheduled at 10.45 am the next day. I had a fear of losing all the emails and relevant data, so I started the back-up activity at 23.00 hrs which continued till 9.20 hrs of next morning giving me a short cushion till check-in in time. As I reached the airport the check-in counter was closed forcing me to miss the flight. It was the last flight to New Delhi from Muscat during the day and the next flight was at mid night, the same day by Indian airlines which had no seats available. Option of flying next day was ruled out as the connecting train and other schedules would jeopardize the whole trip with a monetary loss as well. So I decided to secure a waiting list ticket to New Delhi in Indian Airlines and with an extra payment, managed to confirm it. Dad’s mantra of paisa pheko tamasha dheko “throw money; have fun” worked out during this time of dire need. Next, a verbal war started with Oman air to cancel the unused ticket and in the process I learnt a new rule that the return segment of the ticket cannot be used if a passenger didn’t use the outbound ( To) ticket. A new one way return ticket had to be secured before cancelling the return tickets. This unexpected change required me to post pone my check-in time with the hotel at New Delhi and re arrange the airport pick up from noon to early morning of next day. The consequence of missing the flight was to lose my precious sleep for third night in a row. The loss of money didn’t matter as much the loss of my precious sleep. What mattered the most was, I didn’t want to miss a meeting planned the next day which I had been waiting and longing for years. The meeting was my first point of glimpsing unknown me this summer. Experience of missing train is not new to me but missing a flight was. Looking back now, it was a fun experience.

Friday, May 21, 2010

In search of ‘Unknown’ self

I am not overtly religious about any particular religion that has evolved. I dont accept totally the faith and truths that religion reveals or is supposed to reveal. I am aware of the mysteries of the universe that is beyond my comprehension but that doesn’t make me worship or become a follower of that mystery. I defy forms of worship of mythological characters and icons or those men who are considered to have got the revelation or be it a formless, nameless or anything else under that category. I do not believe that it is important to worship in the name of religion and worship. However i know that there are the mysteries of the Universe that i do not understand at all although i do have awareness. I am neither an atheist nor a theist. I prefer to coexist with the greater mystery without gratifying it. I am part of the mystery and so is every one. At times, I am a mystery to myself. I call it my unknown self, one of the mysteries of the greater mystery that I simply don’t comprehend. . I realized I need to understand myself before trying to understand the greater mystery. That thought urges me to pursue the search of something about me. A search - a soul searching journey. I know I have to start the search in me but am lost as to where to start and how and been struggling with it since many years. This urge has made me undertake few journeys which I call as self soul searching journeys without getting associated with any of the known religious beliefs. Detachment from the regular way of life during these journeys to places where people go on pilgrimage helps in cleansing me of regular materialist thoughts beyond the known me to get a glimpse of the unknown me. Those glimpses make me feel I am getting closer to the revelation which many mystics attained with ease. I believe every mystic commenced his or her search
from self-knowledge before comprehending the spiritual truths that are beyond the understanding of common men.

One such journey that has helped me glimpse my unknown self has just ended-a trek to Vaishnov Devi mountain  in Jammu & Kashmir, the sensitive state of India. I was there last when I was a babe in arms of 2 year old and now I finally managed to make a journey after 30 years to trek the moutain  I was named after as  a part of a journey ,in search of unknown self.